"Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Matter"

As parents of teenagers, we read with interest the article on "Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Matter" (Focus -- January 31). We fail to see why "grownups won’t like it."

We attended Neufeld’s seminars. The book reiterates: effective parenting lies in nurturing the relationship. We have never regretted this approach. Ms. Harris’ apparent suggestion -- that we dress our kids in Nikes and toss them to whichever peers take over -- is the real bunk.

Dr. Wittenberg said it’s our job "to help the child move from the breast, learning to cope with friends along the way." We agree! But to push the bird from the nest while it still lacks feathers? As our children assert their independence from us, they also learn to keep it with friends.

Awakened to the possibility of fostering our relationship with our children, we were not guilt-struck. We had unconsciously absorbed the zeitgeist, which valued peer assimilation too much. Making a change was an unexpected opportunity.

Many Vancouver parents have learned from Neufeld over the years. Because they haven’t been suckered into "early retirement", their children can grow into independence. Now families everywhere can benefit.